Torn
by polyhymnia1
Summary: Emily must deal with the emotional fallout from Alison's return. Set after the season 4 finale, alternate take on season 5.
1. Chapter 1

This was the third time Emily had been in the interrogation room. She wondered if the other girls were being grilled like her or if the police had discovered some flaw in her story. Had she gotten some part of it wrong? She thought she had remembered it perfectly: the fabricated details about how they had found Ali, how Ezra had been shot, who they thought was responsible. But she'd had to tell the same story three times already and now she was worried she'd mixed up some seemingly insignificant detail. She went over it in her head again as she sat waiting for her interrogator to return. After years of thinking Ali dead, her friend had suddenly reached out to them for help, saying she was being stalked and needed money to stay hidden. They had no idea Ali was even alive. That part, at least, was the truth. But what her friends had agreed not to mention was that they had also been stalked for years by the same shadowy figure that was trying to kill Ali: A.

Suddenly the door opened, and Emily jumped in her seat. She had been so lost in her thoughts she'd almost forgotten where she was.

"Okay, Miss Fields, you're free to go," the officer told her, holding the door open. Emily stared between him and the door. Had the police really bought their story? If the police believed them, that meant they were becoming much better liars. The thought made her uneasy.

"Go. Now," the officer said pointing at the door. "Before I change my mind."

Emily jumped from her seat and bolted through the door. Another officer, a rookie she'd never seen before, was waiting outside the interrogation room. He handed over her confiscated purse and led her out.

"Emily!" Her mother called out as soon as she stepped into the police lobby. Both of her parents rushed to her and enveloped her in hugs.

"Are you all right?" Her mother asked, holding her at arm's length and scanning her for any injuries.

"Yeah, mom, I'm just tired."

Emily looked over the shoulders of her mother and father and spotted her friends surrounded by their parents. Everyone was there except Aria. Emily assumed she was already on her way to the hospital to be by Ezra's bedside. Farther away she potted Spencer's mother having what seemed to be a heated discussion with Detective Holbrook, but they were too far away for Emily to hear them.

Her father asked, "What on Earth would possess you to just take off like that?"

Emily stuttered on a response, "I'm sorry. I just - Alison needed our help."

"It's okay," her mother said. "We're just relieved you're all right. Now we just need to get you home, get some rest and we'll talk about it in the morning."

Her mother began leading her by the arm out of police station.

"Wait," Emily said, pulling her arm away. "I have to talk -"

"Pam, Wayne." Spencer's mom intercepted them as they neared the door. "There's something we all need to discuss."

Emily's mom sighed heavily, "It can't wait?"

"I'm afraid not, " Spencer's mother, Veronica, said as she ushered them towards the larger group. Emily had wanted a moment alone with her friends but with their parents swarming around them she knew that would be impossible tonight.

"We have a problem," Spencer's mother announced to the group. She paused before adding, "Well, a problem other than the police questioning the girls for hours without legal representation. No one seems to be able to get ahold of either of Alison's parents. They checked the DiLaurentis home and no one is there."

"Have you called my father?" Alison asked.

"The police have reached out to your father, no answer," Veronica responded. "They also have not been able to contact with your brother."

Veronica addressed the other parents. "That being said, Alison will need somewhere to stay until we can reach her parents."

"I'm more than capable of finding my own place to say," Alison interjected. "I've obviously been doing so for a while now."

Veronica stared at Alison for a moment, her face expressionless. But Emily noticed how tightly her fists were clenched.

"Alison, you've proven yourself capable of feats none of us could have even imagined," Veronica said. Her face was expressionless, but Emily noticed how tightly her fists were clenched. "Still the police would like to keep tabs on you until they can verify your …story. They'll need to know where you are at all times and you'll have a police detail assigned to you. And in order to get you released on your own recognizance, I've agreed that you would stay with one of us."

"You're not my attorney," Alison said, glaring at Veronica. "Wait – 'on my own recognizance?' Am I being charged with something?"

"No, not yet," Veronica said." But Alison…you faked your own death. A man stood trial for your murder. They could very well charge you with conspiracy, fraud, falsifying a report."

"But I didn't fake my own death." Alison protested. "I hid – for my own protection – after someone tried to kill me."

"Well, that's the story, isn't it." Veronica said.

"Mom, can't she just stay with us?" Spencer asked.

"Well…I think…" Veronica stalled.

"No," Alison cut her off. "I don't want the police keeping tabs on where I am."

Alison glanced at Detective Holbrooke who stood speaking just feet away with another officer, then lowered her voice. "I just don't trust the same people who have for years been unable to catch the person who tried to kill me. The record of the Rosewood PD isn't exactly glowing."

"Gabriel is an honest cop," Hanna interjected. "He's trying to keep you safe."

"I'm sure people thought the same thing about Garrett and Wilden," Alison replied.

"Gab – Detective Holbrooke is nothing like them," Hanna said.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice Alison," Veronica broke in. "Unless you want to spend the next few nights in a jail cell you'll have to agree to a police detail. "

"Fine," Alison relented. "But only on certain conditions.

"Alison, you're not really in a position to be making demands right now," Veronica said.

Alison continued, "I want Detective Holbrooke to be on my security detail and any officers he personally trusts."

She turned to Hanna, "I trust your judgment. If you vouch for him I won't question it."

The remark earned her a small smile from Hanna.

"I also want to stay with Emily," Alison said, turning to her other friend. "If that's all right with you. I always feel so much safer with -" Alison's voice wavered and she looked away. "With your dad around," she finished. "Him being ex-military and all. "

Emily smiled broadly at the suggestion. She didn't want to read too much into it. Maybe it was just because Ali thought her father would be extra protection. But Emily couldn't help but hope it was something more. That Ali wanted to spend more time with her. The two could stay up late into the night talking like they used to, catching up on the last two years of their lives.

Emily stopped herself. Her thoughts were entering into dangerous territory. They would inevitably lead to other thoughts and those thoughts would expose emotional wounds that were only just barely healed, if they were healed at all. Ali may seem like a person changed for the better, but Emily didn't want to risk pulling away her bandages to show her wounds to someone who had always been so talented at knowing when and where to pour salt to trigger the most pain.

"Of course, you can stay with us," Emily said in a voice that she hoped hid her true excitement. She was only helping a friend after all. Nothing more. "Right, Mom, Dad?"

Emily's parents exchanged looks. Each seemed to be waiting for the other to respond.

"Alison's mom did take me in when I needed a place to stay," Emily added. "And aren't you guys always telling me how important it is to help a friend in need?"

Emily's mother said, "Of course Alison is always welcome in our home, Emily. But what is the risk here? I don't want to put you in any more danger than you're already in. This person – whoever it is, is still out there."

"You don't have to worry about that," Emily's father interjected, wrapping a protective arm around his wife's shoulder. "That's my job. Alison can stay with us as long as she needs to."

"Thank you. All of you," Alison said, turning to the group. "I know this can't be easy on anyone, seeing me here after all this time. It hasn't been easy for me the past two years. I didn't expect to be able to ever come back here but now that I know I have so much support, I feel –"

Veronica interrupted, "Alison, I'm sure you have a lot you would like to catch us up on but right now most of us simply need to catch up on some sleep. We've been up for days looking for the girls after their…disappearing act. I'll talk to Detective Holbrooke about getting officers stationed outside your house," she said to Emily's parents. "Other than that I don't see why we can't all go home."

"Thank God," Hanna said. "I've been in the same outfit for the last two days."

She tugged at her dress, a look of disgust on her face.

Both Emily and Spencer glanced down at their own dingy clothes. None of them had showered since yesterday morning. They'd spent the early morning hours driving back to Rosewood from New York in the back of a squad car. Then they'd been kept at the police station all day, grilled with question after question. Emily doubted the police had even told their parents they had been found until tonight.

"Emmy," her father said, interrupting her thoughts as he put a hand on her shoulder. "Let's go home."

"I'll call you," Spencer mouthed as her parents ushered her out of the station.

Emily felt a soft hand wrap around her own.

"Are you ready?" Alison asked, her hold tightening.

Emily looked down at their clasped hands and was swept with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. After all this time, she finally had her friend back. The two locked eyes and in that moment Emily felt a deep need to connect with the girl beside her. She knew that longing. She'd felt it before, every day that she'd been near Ali before her friend had disappeared. Emily was already in danger of an emotional freefall and she knew it. But that didn't stop her from tightening her own grip on Ali's hand in return.

"Yeah," Emily said smiling. "After you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you girls have everything you need?" Emily's mom asked as she stood in the doorframe of her daughter's bedroom.

"Mom, we're all right," Emily said for the third time that night. She slid under her covers hoping her mother would get the hint that she was ready to go to sleep.

"Okay, then…"Emily's mom trailed off as she looked around her daughter's room. Emily guessed she was searching for another shirt to fold or stack of papers to rearrange.

"Mom, it's okay. We're not going to escape through the window and there's a cop outside so no one is getting in."

"I know, I know. It's just…I'm glad to have you back."

Emily's mother rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug. She understood her mother's relief at having her back but she had been awake and on overdrive for nearly 48 hours. Emily shot a look of exasperation to Ali, who was chuckling under her breath as she witnessed the spectacle from the air mattress at the foot of the bed.

"Help me," Emily mouthed to her friend as she remained clamped in her mother's arms.

Ali shook off the giggles, put on a half-decent serious expression, and released a long and heavy yawn.

Emily rolled her eyes at how unconvincing it seemed but as she did her mother pulled away.

"I'm sorry," her mother said. "You girls must be tired and I've been in here keeping you up."

"It's okay, Mom," Emily said. Ali shot her a dirty look and she quickly added, "But, yeah, we are tired."

Emily punctuated the remark with her own phony yawn. Not that she needed it. She was sure a real one had been on the way anyway.

"I'll let you girls get some sleep then," her mother said as she walked to the door.

She turned off the light and began pulling the door closed. Just as it was about to click shut, she must have had a change of heart and pushed it back open.

"Good night, girls."

Emily fell back onto her bed, peering up at the darkness as she listened to her mother's footsteps retreat down the hall. She heard the creak of her parents' bedroom door opening but no sound to signal it had closed.

After several moments of silence Ali whispered, "Your parents are just like I remember. I'm surprised you're allowed to go outdoors."

Emily laughed softly. "They're not that bad."

"By tomorrow there will be bars on your windows and a padlock on your door. You'll be lucky if you're released before college."

"Lucky? It would have to be a miracle. I'm grounded for sure after this," Emily said.

"I'm sorry about that. I really didn't mean to get you girls caught up in my mess."

"You didn't-" Emily said more loudly than she'd intended. She waited a few seconds, peering into the dark hallway to make sure neither of her parents had heard and were coming to check on them. After she was sure it was safe, she continued more softly, "You didn't get us caught up in anything. We're as much a part of this as you are."

"But that's only because of me. A is targeting you all because of me."

Emily reached to turn on the lamp on her bedside table.

Ali must have sensed what she was doing because she stopped her.

"No, don't," Ali said. "If the police see the light come back on they may think it's suspicious and come check on us."

Emily paused, her fingers on the switch. She had wanted to look into her friend's eyes when she answered her but instead let her hand fall back down to her side.

"Listen, Ali, we're your friends and if you're in trouble then we want to help you. You just have to trust us. If there's anything I've learned it's we're stronger together than we are apart."

Ali was silent for so long Emily was unsure whether she'd get a response from her friend. She heard the rustling of covers and a faint squeak from the air mattress. Then suddenly she felt her bed dip and a warm body was next to hers.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked. She sat up and looked again into the hallway to make sure no one was coming.

"There's no way I'm sleeping on an air mattress, Em. I had to rough it for the past few years but not that rough."

"But—but, you can't sleep up here. "

Emily felt the bed sink even more as Ali leaned in closer.

"Why not?" Ali asked.

"My parents…"

"Who cares about your parents? We've slept in the same bed before."

Emily squinted, trying to make out Ali's expression in the darkness. She couldn't tell whether her friend was playing games or seriously could not understand why her parents would have a problem with them sharing a bed now. Hadn't Ali been following all of them for the past two years? Didn't she know about Paige? Samara? Maya? Didn't she know that her sexuality was no longer a secret that only the two of them shared?

"Em, just relax," Ali said.

She put a hand on Emily's shoulder and gently pushed her to lie back down on the bed. Emily waited for her to take her hand from her shoulder but Ali kept it resting there. Emily could feel her muscles tense. Ali was too close. She looked up at the ceiling, still as stone. She was sure if she turned her head towards her friend, their faces would only be inches apart. She considered scooting away but thought that would be too obvious. She didn't want Ali to know the effect she was having on her.

Just as Emily had convinced herself to at least try to relax, Ali slid her hand down her arm and took Emily's hand in her own. Emily felt her control slipping. The air seemed heavier, harder to take in. She worried Ali would notice her labored breathing and focused on taking slower, deeper breaths.

Emily tried to convince herself that Ali's closeness meant very little. Ali was just a friend to her. Any other feelings she had for her died years ago. But she couldn't even fool herself with that lie. If that were true, a simple thing like holding Ali's hand wouldn't make her feel like someone had knocked the wind out of her. But what did the gesture mean to Ali? Was she just being 'old Ali,' trying to bring back suppressed emotions so she could play with them, use them to her advantage? Or, was this still 'new Ali,' the one Emily had come to know in the past few weeks. The one who seemed so sincere and remorseful for what she had done in the past. Emily didn't know which Ali was lying beside her. What she did know was she couldn't afford to take the risk, not when she thought about all the pain her feelings for Ali had once caused her.

Emily pulled her hand away and turned on her side, away from her friend. Moments later, she felt Ali move beside her. She guessed Ali had propped herself up to try to get a look at her face, but Emily closed her eyes and buried her head further into the pillow.

"Em?" Ali whispered.

Emily stayed silent. She knew she wasn't fooling either one of them by pretending to be asleep but she didn't want Ali to ask why she pulled away. She didn't want to face the answer to that question. Once she felt Ali finally settle back down onto the bed, Emily really did try to fall asleep but her mind was full of questions, including thoughts of how she could possibly manage to stay in the same house let alone the same room with her friend.


	3. Chapter 3

"You look terrible," Spencer said as Emily opened her locker door.

Emily looked at herself through the small mirror taped to the inside of her locker. Her eyes were puffy and outlined by deep, dark circles.

"I didn't get much sleep," she said.

She had woken up dozens of times last night. Mostly because she had slept so close to the edge of the bed she had nearly fallen off several times. Add to that the fear that every creaking floor board and jerk of the air conditioner was the sound of "A" coming to slaughter them in their sleep and, well, that doesn't spell a good night's rest.

Spencer asked, "Did you and Ali talk? Did she tell you anything else?"

"No," Emily said, distracted by a red envelope laying on top of the books in her locker. "We didn't get a chance. My parents were hovering the whole time."

She pulled the envelope out and opened it.

"What's that?" Spencer asked.

Emily removed a folded slip of paper from the envelope and read it.

_You found her, but you won't get to keep her. Kisses –A_

Emily looked up at Spencer, the paper hanging loosely from her fingertips. Spencer took it and read it herself.

"What the hell?" Spencer said. "Does 'A' have a freaking jet on standby? We just got back yesterday."

"Hey, where's Ali?" Hanna asked as she walked up to them.

Spencer handed her the note.

"You didn't actually expect her to be in school, did you?" Spencer said. "She's missed…well, years. Who even knows what grade she's in. I don't think you get credit for going on the run to escape a homicidal maniac."

"Where did you guy's find this?" Hannah asked, holding up the note.

"Emily's locker," Spencer said.

"In this." Emily handed over the red envelope.

"Wait, where's Aria?" Spencer asked, scanning the hallway.

"She's still with Ezra at the hospital. He hasn't woken up yet." Hanna said. She turned to Emily. "Why would 'A' put this in _your _locker? Do you think 'A' already knows Ali is staying with you?"

"I think the cop car outside her house is a pretty dead giveaway, Hanna," Spencer said.

"So what are we going to do?" Hannah replied. "Maybe we should rotate who she stays with – try to stay one step ahead."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "No, we can't just pass her around like a hot potato. One, 'A' would always know which house she's at just by following the cop car. Two, my mom made it clear there's no way she's staying with us so that's off the table. And three, she can't stay with Aria because Aria isn't even staying with Aria. She's at the hospital half the time. So that just leaves you and Emily – not too many options for staying a step ahead there."

"Well, do you have a better idea?" Hanna challenged.

"In fact, I do." Spencer replied proudly. "There's strength in numbers. So instead of rotating Ali, we just rotate ourselves. We'll each stay with Emily for a night then just switch off. We can take turns keeping watch."

"No, that won't work," Emily said. "My parents have me on lockdown. They won't let any of you guys come over let alone spend the night."

"Can't you just… convince them?" Spencer asked.

"After what we did? No way. I'm lucky my dad didn't ship me off to Guam. They've taken away my cell phone, my laptop and my car. My dad dropped me off at school this morning and he's picking me up as soon as the bell rings. I can't even go with you guys to visit Ezra this afternoon. "

"Wait –you don't have a cell phone?" Hanna said. "How are we supposed to get in touch with you?"

"You'll have to call my house and _maybe_ my parents will let me speak to you. But that's a big maybe."

Spencer shook her head. "This isn't going to work. We have to figure out a way to get you a phone and –"

Spencer stopped mid-sentence as something over Emily's shoulder caught her eye.

"Um, Emily." Spencer said, signaling with her eyes that Emily should look behind her.

Emily turned to see Paige lingering just a few feet from them. As soon as the two made eye contact, Paige gave a half smile and a slight wave. Emily turned away.

"God, I can't deal with this right now," Emily muttered to Hanna and Spencer.

"Well, she's coming over here," Spencer spoke hurriedly in a hushed voice. "What do you want us to do? Uh-oh…too late."

"Hey, so you guys are back."

Emily heard Paige's voice come from directly behind her, but she hesitated to turn around. The last time they'd spoken Paige had admitted to betraying her just to get back at Alison. Sure, she understood that telling the police Alison was still alive was Paige's way of getting revenge for being bullied. What she didn't understand – what she could never understand – was how Paige could put their entire relationship on the line, jeopardize everything they had, just to get that revenge.

Paige cleared her throat, "Emily, can I talk to you for a second?"

Emily finally turned around to face her girlfriend – ex-girlfriend—honestly she didn't know where they stood.

"Paige, I can't right now." Emily said.

Paige quickly added, "It's important, I promise. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother you."

Emily met Paige's eyes and noticed how puffy and swollen they were, but she couldn't tell if it was from crying or lack of sleep. What caught her attention the most though was the look of desperation there she had never seen before.

"Can I catch up to you guys later?" Emily asked Hannah and Spencer.

Hanna replied, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute."

"Come on," Spencer said taking Hanna by the arm and pulling her away. Emily watched until they turned a corner, out of sight.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked Paige. She looked so pale, Emily considered whether to hold out a supporting hand just in case she passed out.

But Paige just stood there, staring at her. Emily shifted and looked away. The intensity of Paige's stare unnerved her. She was just about to break the long silence when Paige grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into her arms.

"Thank God you're all right," Paige said, tightening her hold.

Emily tensed at first, mostly from surprise. But being in Paige's arms felt so familiar, so comfortable she closed her eyes and relaxed into the embrace.

Paige was the first to pull away. She grasped Emily by the shoulders and held her at arm's length.

"What were you guys thinking just running off like that?" Paige questioned. "You could've been killed."

Emily frowned at her tone. She felt like she was being scolded and other students nearby were casting glances their way.

She backed away from Paige's grip.

"We had to go help Ali. She needed us."

"So you just disappear without even telling your parents where you're going? You know I got grilled by the cops? I told them I saw you guys that night – the night you left. They said I should've asked more questions. "

"It wouldn't have mattered Paige. I wouldn't have been able to tell you the truth anyway." Emily hesitated before adding, "Not if I wanted to keep it from the cops."

It was harsh, she thought, but the truth. She could no longer trust the girl in front of her, especially not where Ali was concerned.

"I made a mistake, Em. Aren't people allowed to do that? I made a mistake."

"Paige, a mistake is when you accidentally run over someone's dog. What you did was intentional. You knew what would happen."

"I didn't know you would go and put yourself in more danger by skipping town like that."

Emily glared at her. "And if you had, would it have stopped you? Or is putting my life at risk fair game when it comes to getting revenge on Ali?"

"How can you say that to me? After everything we've been through?"

"That's _why _I'm saying it Paige. You were willing to throw everything we had away, out of revenge and hatred."

Paige moved closer and gently took Emily's hands in her own. "You are the most important thing in my life. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, Em. I love you."

Emily wanted to believe her; it would make at least one thing in her life so much easier. But she couldn't shake the feeling that even now she didn't fully understand just how much Paige hated Ali. Paige had risked their relationship just to get revenge on a girl who had bullied her years ago. Maybe there was more to the story; there had to be. Until she found out, she couldn't trust Paige. Because there was no reason to believe that if given the chance, Paige wouldn't betray her again if it meant somehow hurting Ali.

"I know you love me, Paige," Emily said," I just think you hate Ali more."

Paige dropped Emily's hands and backed away. She inhaled deeply, taking in what Emily imagined was supposed to be a calming breath before responding.

"You act like everything between us was going great until I messed it all up. We've barely even seen each other these past few weeks and when we do it's just in passing in the hallway. Be honest here, Emily. You checked out of this relationship months ago."

"That's – that's crazy. I've just been busy," Emily defended herself.

Paige was right about them not seeing each other very often lately, but Emily didn't think that was because she had "checked out" of the relationship. More like trying to save her friend from a maniac and help bring her home had kept her preoccupied.

"You think I don't see what's happening here but I do," Paige said, her voice growing louder. "You found out Ali was alive weeks ago and ever since then you've been distancing yourself from me."

Emily's eyes skimmed over the hallway. She noticed the few students who had not yet headed to class were now openly watching them. She leaned in and said in a hushed voice, "Paige, this really isn't the best time or place to talk about this. Class is about to start."

Paige didn't budge. Instead, she snapped, "So you weren't going to even tell me then?"

Emily stared at her confused.

"Tell you what?"

"That Ali's back, Em. That she's staying with you."

"How could you possibly know that?" Emily asked. The arrangement for Ali to stay with her was just made last night; how did Paige know about it already? Did the police have a mole or something?

"Everyone knows, Emily. That's all anyone's been talking about this morning."

Emily thought back to when she had arrived at school earlier. She had gotten more curious looks than usual and now that she thought about it she did remember several people huddled in small groups, whispering to each other as she passed by.

"How did it get out so fast…" Emily said, mostly to herself.

"Does it matter how it got out?" Paige replied. "I just want to know why you didn't tell me."

Emily shut her locker door harder than she'd intended.

"Paige, all of this just happened. Plus, it's not like you and Ali are friends, why would I tell you? You've made it pretty clear to me that you don't want anything to do with her unless it involves paying her back for how she treated you."

Emily watched as more students cleared out of the hallway on their way to class.

"Listen, Paige, we'll talk about this later. I've got to get to class."

She turned to walk away but Paige caught her by the arm.

"Wait." Paige said. She stood there silently for a long moment, studying Emily's face before asking. "Are you breaking up with me because of Ali? You think you have a chance with her now that she's back?"

Emily grimaced at the suggestion. "What? Of course not. Ali doesn't feel that way about me."

"But you do feel that way about her."

The question caught Emily off guard and she didn't want to answer it. She didn't know how she felt about Ali at the moment other than relief that her friend was alive and back home. How could she explain her feelings if she didn't even fully understand them herself?

Emily looked down at where Paige still had a firm grasp on her arm.

"Let go of my arm, Paige," she said. "I told you we'll talk about it later."

Paige immediately dropped Emily's arm. She looked down at her hand as if she'd only just realized she'd even grabbed it in the first place.

"I'm sorry," Paige said quietly. The anger that had been so obvious in her expression before seemed to disappear in an instant.

"It's fine. But I've got to go."

Paige nodded slightly in agreement. Emily placed a hand on Paige's shoulder and squeezed it as a gesture of reassurance. Even though she didn't want to have this conversation with Paige right now, she found it difficult to leave her so upset. Paige offered her a crooked smile in return and Emily took that as her acknowledgement that this conversation was over…for now.

The hallway was now empty as Emily rushed to her first period class. But she had barely made it a few steps when the bell rang, signaling that now, on top of everything else she was dealing with, she was also late for class.


End file.
